What is Self-Doubt?

You have a dream, you invest in your dream and the dream comes to life. With enthusiasm and energy you take it to the marketplace, only for it to fall flat, have little return on investment or you can’t get those same results again. Then discouragement sets in and you are second guessing your whole life. Does this sound familiar?
Self-Doubt.

A sneaky little snake that seems like a friend.

Self-Doubt appears like great wisdom.

Self-Doubt whispers saying I mean you no harm.

Self-Doubt seems good to participate in.

Like you are giving something great thought and reflection.

But it’s a LIE.

Self-Doubt steals from you.

Self-Doubt never adds to you.

Self-Doubt makes you small.

Self-Doubt takes your power.

Self-Doubt tells you to sit when you need to stand.

Self-Doubt keeps you still when you need to move.

Self-Doubt will mock you and make you feel like a fool.

Self-Doubt will not create new for you.

But…Self-Doubt cannot come with you if you free yourself from the cage it built around you.

Self-Doubt’s foundation is fear, its walls are lies and its roof is regret.

Self-Doubt is not your friend; never has been never will be.

It’s time to say goodbye to self-doubt.

You see I had made doubt my friend. I don’t even remember when I first met doubt. Doubt was always there, like a good friend you could count on. Always there to offer a quick response. Something new would come my way and doubt was right there to offer itself fully to me. It was refreshing these days nothing is that reliable, but doubt was. Doubt seemed so caring doubt would ask things like, “are you sure?” “ You have never done anything like this before” or No one else has had this idea, there is properly a reason” or when doubt it really trying to take care of you doubt will pull out the big one “ you might looks stupid if you do this, what will people think?” Or Are you sure that’s what they said?

Is seems so kind of doubt to keep me safe and my life so tidy. Always keeping me inside the lines. Ensuing that I don’t go down a “wrong road” or make mistakes. Doubt makes sure I don’t feel the rain on my face or a sting from a wound of falling down. If only everyone had such a good friend like doubt. They would be so predictable and safe.

Doubt and I had become inseparable. I had even learned how to share doubt with other people. I felt so generous, offering a look or a simple phrase, the most of effective one was “are you sure?” Or on that really helped people was “ how do you know” I was confident my dough left them feeling safe and predicable.

I mean there wasn’t a part of my life I didn’t invite doubt into. My dreams, my hopes, my friendships, my marriage, my parent. Doubt seemed so wise. Double guessing every move I made. That is what smart people do right? Think and think and think and think and then change again and again again. Not because of something better but because you know doubt isn’t satisfied. Doubt needs more.Surely you didn’t get it right the first time the second or third because there must be something wrong with what you came up with.NO matter the idea now matter the situation I immediately handed it over to doubt, doubt would know what to do.

But then overtime there became a dissatisfaction. An unrest that wouldn’t go away. What if doubt was wrong? There was panic. I had no where to put my feet on steady ground. There was no ground, I was in a place I had never been in. Doubt had become my ground. But I became curious. What would the rain feel like on my face? What would the wound of failure feel like? How tired could I get if I tried to climb a tall mountain. How far could I fall? The questions just kept growing. Like what if I could? What if I did, what would that be like or even if I didn’t make it all the way what if I made it part of the way? It grew and grew and grew and I met Hope. I hadn’t really known Hope. Desires never came around before either. I kept hearing about Joy, but I wasn’t familiar.

But with all these new friends I meet, like with everything I shared it with Doubt. Doubt had been there through everything, I knew doubt so well, it was so very very comfortable. I told doubt of all the new things, all the new ideas all about hope, desire and joy.

Every time time doubt was there hope would leave. Hope never stayed.

It didn’t go like I had planed. Doubt lost it. Doubt spun me around. Ragging and furious. Doubt would do and say the strangest things, things that didn’t even make sense. Create these situations that didn’t exist. Doubt made some good points ike doubt always did but something was different this time. For a brief moment I realized doubt didn’t want to share me with Hope, Desires or Joy. Doubt wanted to consume me completely. Keep me locked up. Keep my predicable and safe.

But was doubt keeping me safe? Or had doubt put me in a cage? Four walls. I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t move. I didn’t know how to think with out doubt. I had let doubt in and take over and I didn’t know what to do without doubt.

I loved doubt. It made me feel so safe. So practical. But I could no longer deny the pull I felt towards to want to feel something again. To talk to imagination again, to get to know Hope, desire and joy better. I began to wonder again what must they be like?

My memories came to back to me as a child I new them. Dreams, Thrills, Anticipation of good things, expectations of wonderful things. But as I thought through my childhood friends I had let them go. When pain called my name. Life swirled around me. It came too fast I didn’t know what to do with all of it. I tried to be brave. I hid my tears. I had to go where the road took me and with each step and at each turn I left dreams go, hope go and great expectations behind. Doubt seemed like the most practical, logical and safe one to bring.

But I am not a child anymore. I have to put childish things behind and take a look at what no longer serves me.

Doubt became an all consuming fire that I had to choose to put out.

Doubt couldn’t come with me where I was choosing to go.

Doubt was never going to take me anywhere

Doubt was never going to help me create new

Doubt was never going to make me better

Doubt was never going to give me passion

Doubt was never going to put me into action

Doubt was never going to make me free

I realized doubt was never going to give doubt would only take from me.

Doubt you have taught me much, perhaps that is your purpose for those who will learn.

You are the teacher who only teaches once your student leaves.

Good bye self-doubt I have no need of you anymore.

If you feel stuck in self-doubt and no matter what you can seem to shake it off. You are not alone. You can overcome it and say goodbye to it forever.

All it takes is to know how.

Melissa Garn

Author Melissa Garn

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